what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
