oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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