Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
