I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
