i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Randomize
