Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
