I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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