Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
A bitchslap is in order.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize