Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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