She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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