Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
