yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
