did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
