No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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