hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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