It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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