No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
