I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
its liver damage thursday
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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