She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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