My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
