I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
