Well douche your snatch and let's go!
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
