WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
