We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize