the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
