I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
