DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
jump out the window naked night went bad
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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