glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize