Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
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