This girl is more easily done than said...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
he just fucked me for my cheese..
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
