Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
