I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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