Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
someone owes me an orgasm
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
