Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
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