i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
