Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
