If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Less talking, more tequila
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize