Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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