I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Even my vagina gasped.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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