I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
