We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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