have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
