Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
