He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
