I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
