She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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