??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
