How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
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