Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
