you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
