Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
