i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
