So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
There are leaves in my underwear?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
