I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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