it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
