So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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