At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
