the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
