Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
