call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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