Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
