it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
