Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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