On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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