What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
