no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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